Save the indignation as Alabama’s clown show goes national

December 22, 2016

By Josh Moon
Alabama Political Reporter

The outrage was evident from coast to coast on Wednesday.

As news outlets learned that disgraced Alabama Supreme Court Chief Justice Roy Moore – twice removed from the bench for failing to meet the standards of judicial ethics – had been interviewed by Gov. Robert Bentley to possibly fill the soon-to-be-vacated Senate seat held by Jeff Sessions, the adjectives started to fly.

Not just interviewed, though. Moore was the favorite, Bentley said, of the Republican’s executive committee in the State. A true frontrunner.

And the national guys went nuts.

From the Washington Post to Slate to Huffington Post, the people were “shocked” that Moore would be considered. The stories made it to the top of national publications’ websites, and most struck a tone of disbelief, if not outright ridicule.

And to all of those news outlets, I say: Y’all are so cute, with your indignation and expectations.

It’s going to be a shame to watch them die.

But that’s what’s coming, as the Alabamization, spread by the incoming Trump administration, makes its way across the country. Slowly but surely, these expectations of ethical behavior, of government for the people, of equality and fairness will die tragic deaths at the hands of back-slapping, good-ol-boy, home-cookin’ politics, Alabama style.

Because considering Roy Moore for a not-yet-open Senate seat isn’t the worst thing we’ve done this year. Hell, it’s probably not the worst thing we’ve done this month.

Where should I begin?

Our Legislature opened the 2016 Session with a Speaker of the House who had been indicted on ethics charges and ended that session a few weeks before he was convicted on a dozen charges.

That speaker had been re-elected to his lofty position by his peers AFTER he was indicted. Oh, did I mention the vote among his partymates was unanimous?

And you think it’s outrageous that a twice-bounced judge is getting an interview? Ha! Maybe up there in your ivory tower of basic decency. But not down here in Alabama-world.

Down here, the guy who is interviewing that disgraced judge is a Governor currently facing impeachment for misusing State funds on his mistress, whom many believe was, and is still, the de-facto Governor.

Over the last year, we’ve had to endure weeks of the most painfully awkward audio sex tapes that you can imagine.

And yet, the true reason the current conservative-led Legislature has moved forward with impeachment proceedings is because the Governor tried to raise taxes. On cigarettes.

Seriously. That’s what turned them against Bentley. Wait, you thought a group that’s wasted more money than first-round draft picks actually cared about misspent tax money on a mistress? That’s hilarious.

This is Alabama, y’all. A land where the top cop in the State was fired by the Governor’s mistress for issuing an affidavit that hurt the indicted speaker’s defense in his ethics trial.

A land where the top trooper on the Governor’s security detail had to (allegedly) break up with the Governor’s mistress for the Governor, who was (allegedly) getting covert shipments of Viagra delivered in his now-ex-wife’s name so he could carry out the affair (that was absolutely not physical – a claim by the Governor that somehow makes this whole thing weirder).

And y’all are getting worked up over a Roy Moore interview?

Take my advice: Save some of that indignation.

With the incoming Trump administration taking this clown show national, you’re gonna need it.

 

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