By Joey Kennedy
Alabama Political Reporter
Today is my 37th wedding anniversary. Yes, even I have been married to the same woman for 37 years. Never another woman. Just Veronica. We were married on Ground Hog Day 1980. I always joke that if I see my shadow on Feb. 2, we’ll be married another year. I always see my shadow. I’m afraid not to.
I’ve been married to Veronica much longer than I was single. I never married anybody before her. Just her.
Happy anniversary, Veronica.
But I have another issue on my mind today. As much as I am thrilled to be married to Veronica for such a long time, I’m really concerned more that Bill Britt is going to fire me.
As a columnist for The Alabama Political Reporter, I work for Britt, the editor in chief and big boss.
Ever since Kellyanne Conway, President Donald Trump’s whatever, said she wondered why folks in the media haven’t been fired for criticizing Trump, for covering her “alt-facts” report, for, basically, just being the media, I’m worried that Bill will fire me.
“Not one network person has been let go. Not one silly political analyst and pundit who talked smack all day long about Donald Trump has been let go,” said Conway, with all the brilliance she’s likely capable of. “I’m too polite to mention their names, but they know who they are, and they are all wondering who will be the first to go. The election was three months ago. None of them have been let go.”
Bill, please don’t. I know I’ve criticized Trump. Just last week, I dumped on the Trump administration for its love of these so-called “alt-facts” (actually, lies).
A couple weeks ago, right before Trump was inaugurated, I wrote this: “I’d like to say Trump deserves an open mind. The so-called Republican will be sworn in as President on Friday. It’s his gig now. But his Twitter tantrums alone cause one to wonder what’s up with this dude. Frankly, he presents as a person with some sort of mental illness. Or, as an idiot.”
Please don’t fire me, Bill. Don’t. I’m not going to apologize, I don’t think, but I don’t want to get fired for criticizing the President, either, even if it is Donald Trump. I’ve been writing opinion about presidents since George H.W. Bush was in office. None of them ever wanted to fire journalists (or if they did, they had the grace and temperament not to say it out loud).
Trump, though, sends out his minions (more like paid cronies) to attack the media, and to personally attack journalists. Trump, himself, made fun of a disabled reporter during his campaign. It was disgraceful.
And yet, Trump still got elected.
I don’t want to get fired, Bill. Not again. That happened already simply because I was doing my job the same way I’ve done it my whole 40-plus year career. But when a media outlet gets caught up in only making money, in only in click-bait, only in getting caught in its own lies, it fires people. Like it did me.
Bill, I don’t know if I can stand another firing, so please don’t fire me.
A few weeks ago in a column for APR, I wrote this: “Those who think Donald Trump is going to help Alabama are living on another planet. Donald Trump cares about Donald Trump.”
Actually, Trump may look at that as a compliment. I’ll have to check Twitter early tomorrow morning.
Kelleyanne Conway wouldn’t be speaking about firing journalists if it didn’t come from Trump and his goons — I mean, “his really nice staff.”
Not that Trump or his crew would ever notice me, a columnist in Alabama who truly knows he’s really small stuff.
Three years ago, Trump did something stupid, I don’t remember what, and I simply Tweeted to @realdonaldtrump: “Idiot.”
Almost every day, I get Twitter-notified that somebody else has liked that Tweet. But I have yet to hear from Trump. I feel slighted. A little.
So don’t fire me, Bill. I’ll make it up to you. Somehow.
(Between me and you, though, Trump is still an idiot.)
Happy 37th anniversary, Veronica.
Joey Kennedy, a Pulitzer Prize winner, writes a column every week for Alabama Political Reporter, and he doesn’t want to be fired. Email: firstname.lastname@example.org.