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Featured Opinion

Gov. Bentley Truthin’ ‘Cause a Truther Gotta Truth

By Bill Britt
Alabama Political Reporter

Gov. Robert Bentley, this Wednesday, informed the press that reports of a compact with the Poarch Band of Creek Indians was “blatantly false.”

Bentley is a “truther.” He loves the truth. He values the truth. His reverence for the truth is so utterly consuming that he always uses it with great economy. Bentley would never tell a lie. That’s why we call him the “Truther.” When the Truther is truthin’, you know you can believe every word.

Borrowing a page from convicted felon Mike Hubbard’s playbook, Bentley wants the State to know that anything published by the Alabama Political Reporter is not trustworthy.

(Stick with that one Governor. It worked so well for Hubbard…)

Of course, Bentley never lies.

He never lied to his wife of fifty years; his wedding vows held sacred in his heart.

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When he said Rebekah Caldwell Mason was nothing more than his trusted advisor, he was truthin’. Yes, he was.

And when he claimed Mason was not a factor in his divorce, Bentley shot straight from the hip. He’s that kind of guy. Bentley is a man of his word. His word is his bond; just like in his marriage vows.

When he assured the voters that there would be, “No New Taxes,” that wasn’t blatantly false, he was truthin’.

Telling voters he reduced State government spending by over a billion dollars, he was a walking-talking truth machine.

When the Alabama Political Reporter revealed STAARS was failing, he said it was fixed. Just a hiccup, according to the Truther Bentley. And when he said the $47 million dollar/no bid contract for STAARS was legally executed, he was truthin’.

If the State received a couple of dollars every time Bentley was truthin’, the State’s General Fund Budget be rockin’ dat Medicaid. Tru(ther) Dat.

No. Bentley is a man who recognizes blatant falsities, because he sees them when he looks in the mirror to comb his hair.

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Those non-disclosure agreements signed by his staff, they were all about truthin’.

Not knowing about Ray Lewis’ overtime pay: truthin’.

Under oath at Hubbard’s criminal trial, Bentley said, “Mike is my friend.” Oh yes he did.

The time he ordered Spencer Collier to lie to the prosecution concerning Hubbard, not a problem, because Bentley wants everyone truthin’.

Just like when Bentley said recently, that he was not under any criminal investigation. All truthin’. No lies.

AEA Chief Paul Hubbert didn’t get him elected, the Accountability Act is helping poor children, and he is absolutely not carrying on an elicit affair with that woman, Mrs. Mason.

Bentley says he will be remembered as the State’s greatest Governor, and we can believe him, except he is leaving out a key word… “fool.”

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Every honest observer plainly sees the Alabama Political Reporter is just a blog you can’t believe. Just ask Bentley, the Truther.

But if you don’t believe Bentley… just ask Mike Hubbard the felon.

 

Bill Britt is editor-in-chief at the Alabama Political Reporter and host of The Voice of Alabama Politics. You can email him at [email protected] or follow him on Twitter.

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