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Opinion | Legislature to women: Go to hell

Joey Kennedy

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Alabama did it. Once again, the state that remains in perpetual-stupid-repeat has passed an unconstitutional abortion bill that’ll be brutally aborted by federal courts as soon as it gets there. No heartbeat needed on this baby; Once it’s signed by the meek, go-along-with-whatever Gov. Kay Ivey, this law is deader than another executed inmate in this “pro-life” state.

While the bill declares that life begins at conception, and that life is a “person,” this terrible, expensive, foolishness will never truly have a life except in those arrogant, hypocritical lawmakers who don’t really give a damn about life.

They just want a bill that’ll eventually make it to the U.S. Supreme Court so that awful Roe v. Wade decision can be overturned. These lawmakers, as usual, way overdid their meanness. Like they did with that now meaningless HB56 anti-immigrant bill that the courts shredded like an Alabama lawmaker’s dignity.

The abortion bill is so Draconian that the SCOTUS won’t even touch it with Bret Kavanaugh’s 25-inch Oktoberfest Beer Bong ($9.99 at Spencer’s).

There’s no exception for rape or incest. A physician performing an abortion is charged with a felony, while her co-conspirator, the woman seeking the abortion, gets off with no charges whatsoever.

Alabama women will be forced to have Uncle Bill’s molestation product or their rapist’s brutal and violent consequence.

Oh, Alabama women will still get abortions. Wherever they can. We’ve seen those days already. And many of those women will die or injure themselves severely in the act, because the Alabama Legislature, overwhelmingly populated with self-righteous white men, won’t allow them to seek the health care they need.

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Why? They are women. You can bet these men will protect their Viagra, though, because they certainly don’t want to be limping through those long days at the State House with nothing to look forward to.

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The front for this travesty is, of course, a woman. State Rep. Terri Collins, R-Decatur, especially should be ashamed to allow herself to be used so cynically by a bunch of middle-aged and elderly white men. Nothing at all wrong with opposing abortion, but to put forth a bill that is as dead as those far too many babies who are the victims of Alabama’s Third World-high infant death rate is, well, cray-cray.

The national reaction once again puts Alabama in the “What’s Wrong With That State” spotlight, not that our lawmakers or governor care. They didn’t care during segregation when they sanctioned re-enslaving black people. They didn’t care when they were chasing immigrants out of the state to leave rotting crops in the field. They don’t care now.

Their souls are broken.

But take a look anyway, Alabama. Here’s what you look like on Twitter:

From BrooklynDad_Defiant! (@mmpadellan): The Alabama abortion law shows us exactly what (T)rump meant when he said “make America great AGAIN…” He wants to take us back to the years of back-alley abortions, when Women had NO SAY in their own bodies. Alabama is not an anomaly; it’s a BLATANT assault on #RoeVWade.

From Peter Daou (@peterdaou): THE ALABAMA MONSTROSITY I’d like to see a single #Alabama parent or lawmaker look us in the eye and say they’re fine with a 12-year-old being raped then FORCED to carry the pregnancy to term. These people are among the worst extremists on the planet. Dangerous and un-American.

From Danny Deraney (@DannyDeraney): Alabama Ranks:
45th in Health Care
50th in Education
45th Economy
45th in Opportunity
45th in Crimes and Convictions
38th in Worst Property Crime
8th in worst schools in the US
But please, tell me how you should be in control of women’s bodies?

From Deborah Roseman (@roseperson): Reminder: You cannot ban abortion. You can only ban safe abortion. Abortion rates in countries that outlaw abortion and those in countries where it is legal are statistically the same.

From Rev. Dr. Barber (@RevDrBarber): What we’re seeing in Alabama is regressive extremist politicians in the South loudly limiting our moral debate to issues like abortion while they stay silent on pro-life issues like access to affordable healthcare, living wages, and voting rights.

And then, from our very own Tweets right here in Alabama:

From Meredith Cummings (@MereCummings): Ashamed tonight by @RepTerriCollins who betrayed the women of my beautiful state by trying to make her religion everyone’s law. Unconscionably sexist.

From Paula Cobia (@PaulaCobia): Don’t delude yourselves into thinking this can’t happen. It can happen here. It will happen here. It’s happening here now. Old, white Republican men seeking dominion over women. That’s the sole reason for the archaic criminal abortion laws being passed.

And from my neighbor Rod Walker (@RodWalker2): “The worst thing about moving to Alabama is telling people you’re moving to Alabama”. This is a quote from a couple I met last night who moved to Birmingham in September.

Perhaps “God” said it best. This particular “God” is a parody account on Twitter (@TheTweetOfGod), but with nearly 6 million followers, he’s got a wide reach. Concerning Alabama passing the nation’s meanest, stupidest, most hateful anti-abortion law, a law that is destined to cost Alabama taxpayers millions to defend and is certain to be overturned, here’s what “God” says: “Life begins the moment you leave Alabama.”

Sadly, some days that’s absolute truth. But don’t get your hopes all up on my account. I’m staying right here, to point out your craziness, to call out your meanness, and, occasionally to cheer your vision, which seems mostly to be Alabama football.

Joey Kennedy, a Pulitzer Prize winner, writes a column every week for Alabama Political Reporter. Email: [email protected]

 

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