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We Love the “But” in Alabama

By Josh Moon
Alabama Political Reporter

Alabama loves a good but.

Not a butt.

A “but.”

As in, “I know what you’re saying is accurate, but ….”

For as long as I’ve been alive, that has been this State’s Achilles heel. We know what’s right, but we figure out ways to justify doing what’s wrong.

We know segregation is wrong, but what if we just tell everyone it’s equal?

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We know turning away scared and desperate migrant children is wrong, but what if we say it’s because we’re worried about diseases?

We know racism is wrong, but we really don’t want to give up this power.

And now, after decades of being dragged kicking and screaming towards tolerance and equal rights, Alabamians have a presidential candidate who makes them believe that the 1950s could really come true again.

That white men could once again act like the misogynistic, domineering jackasses that they so long to be. That they might be able to ignore inconveniences like stifling the openly racist comments. That we can finally, again, return to an America where complex issues were solved … well, not solved so much as set aside, by blaming them on “the blacks” or “the Mexicans” or “the broads.”

Oh, what a joyous day it will be for the white Alabama man if Donald Trump can stroll into the White House. (Of course, if there’s any hope of that, he should at least tell his supporters the correct election date.)

And yeah, sure, he’s a repugnant, dirty, childish, egotistical clown who most real men wouldn’t trust within a 1,000 yards of their daughters or wives … but ….

But they really want him to be president.

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Why wouldn’t they? He is the Great White Hope. And so, as we’ve always done here, we justify with a “but.”

Technically, Trump’s comments about Mexicans being mostly rapists and murderers were wrong, but he did say some are good people.

Yes, Trump saying that he’d kill terrorists’ families is a war crime, but those people probably knew what was going on.

Of course, Trump was wrong to tweet at 3 a.m. to tell Americans to go watch a sex tape of a former pageant winner, but it’s good to know he’d be up at 3 a.m. if something important happened.

Trump was clearly wrong when he said he wasn’t sure if the Central Park 5 – the black kids who were cleared by DNA tests, but who Trump once proclaimed should receive the death penalty – should possibly still be in jail, but he’s a law-and-order guy.

No, Trump’s violent rhetoric is not what would best help the country heal, but we need someone to put these blacks in their place.

And biggest of all: Trump has a number of issues, and I can’t condone much of what he’s said and done, but at least he’s not Hillary Clinton.

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Because somehow, that makes sense.

Clinton had an email server at home – a mistake that she has apologized for making – that didn’t benefit her in any way. It wasn’t crooked or underhanded. It wasn’t used to embezzle money or dish out contracts illegally or wrongfully influence government operations.

It was a matter of convenience. But that server, and Clinton’s handling of the questions about it has been used as the answer to every insult, every gaffe, every racist comment, every dangerous legal proposal and every other indicator that Donald Trump is unfit to be in any elected office.

It was even used to shoo away discussion of his sickening descriptions of sexual assault, as he talked to a TV host (who knew Billy would be the Bush that finally killed off this Donald Trump monster?). Even that has been dismissed by Alabama politicians, including women, as an act of “locker room talk.”

But it’s not. And deep down, every man in this state knows it.

Hell, deep down, everyone in this state knows we have no business voting for a racist, misogynistic, dimwitted, crazy egomaniac. We know Donald Trump is the worst candidate to run for president in our nation’s history, and we know we shouldn’t vote for him.

But we’re Alabama.

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Josh Moon is an investigative reporter and featured columnist at the Alabama Political Reporter with years of political reporting experience in Alabama. You can email him at [email protected] or follow him on Twitter.

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