How did things get so bad?
As we round out 2025, with high groceries prices, high everything prices, everyone angry about everything, most of the truly damaging Epstein files still hidden on Pam Bondi’s desk, more wars than ever and a group of secret police abducting people off the streets in the United States, it’s more than fair to look around and wonder how it all went so poorly. Particularly when the guy many in this state voted for promised over and over again to “immediately” fix all of those things.
But the reality is you were conned.
You were conned even while roughly half the country was telling you that you were being conned.
You ignored the warnings. You ignored common sense. You fell for the distractions—my God, the distractions. You bought into the narrative that Joe Biden was a senile, sleepy old fool who spent most of his days hallucinating, and so you elected a senile, sleepy old fool who spends his days—and most of his press conferences—hallucinating.
Quite often those hallucinations manifest as some of the weirdest, wildest lies ever told by a president. Other times, they’re just plain weird. Other times, they’re an odd mix of weird, lies and conveniently timed distractions.
Anyway, here are some of the dumbest things Donald John Trump has said over the last year or so, as the country burned and his cult members defended the naked emperor.
“Affordability is a Democrat scam!”
Those were Trump’s words just a few weeks ago, as the American public, including many of his supporters, have to come realize that he has absolutely no idea how to lower prices and has, in many cases, implemented policies that have made prices higher.
It’s a comical statement—that “affordability” is some new idea pushed by Democrats of late—particularly when you consider that Trump used the phrase “make America affordable again” literally hundreds of times when he was running for president. In one instance (and probably more, if I wanted to spend the time searching for the pictures), the Trump team slapped those words on a gigantic banner that was behind Trump when he was speaking.
We can agree on one thing though—that promising immediate affordability was, in fact, a scam.
Trump was never going to be able to lower prices on Day One, as he promised repeatedly. He was never going to be able to “defeat inflation” within weeks.
That he ever promised such nonsense should have been a clear sign to everyone that he’s a lunatic con man not worthy of your vote. Because inflation didn’t happen because of poor public policy or because Joe Biden just wasn’t trying hard enough. It happened due to the efforts to sustain a broad swath of Americans during a global pandemic and ward off a recession. It also happened because of rampant, unchecked corporate greed.
And no one person or program was ever going to reverse inflation and lower prices quickly. Especially not a guy who bankrupted multiple casinos.
“Taking Tylenol is … ah … not good.”
Do you remember this ridiculous press conference, in which the president of the United States sought to warn Americans that a very popular and widely used painkiller was causing autism in children, but he failed to learn how to pronounce the name of the painkiller, thus undermining the entire spectacle?
For the record, there is absolutely no link whatsoever between taking acetaminophen, the active ingredient in Tylenol, by pregnant women and autism rates. Not even a little bit. But Trump, in a never ending quest to distract from his failures to uphold any real campaign promise, got together with Bobby Brainworm, the Health Secretary, and made one up.
“There’s very little difference between a mad man and a genius.”
During a speech about artificial intelligence in July, Trump veered off course, as he often does, and launched into what was later determined to be an actual fairy tale. One that starred his uncle, a long-dead former MIT professor, and the Unabomber, Ted Kaczynski.
According to Trump, his uncle John, who Trump erroneously claimed was the longest serving professor in MIT history, had Kaczynski in his class. In fact, Trump had a conversation with his uncle about Kaczynski, asking “what kind of student was he, uncle John?” To which his uncle replied that Kaczynski was a “seriously good” student but that “it didn’t work out too well for him.”.
Small problem: Kaczynski never went to MIT.
Bigger problem: Kaczynski didn’t become widely known as the infamous Unabomber until 1996 and Trump’s uncle John died in 1985.
But yeah, Biden’s autopen was a problem.
“Do I get electrocuted … or do I take the shark?”
In a press conference for … you know, I don’t even know or care, Trump launched into yet another completely fictional story about a conversation he had with a shipbuilder that was making battery-powered boats. In this only-true-in-his-mind story, Trump asked a “genius” question regarding what happens if the boat sinks and he was left with a real Sophie’s choice decision to make.
In his “genius” hypothetical, Trump is on a sinking battery-powered boat but there’s a shark nearby. Does he choose electrocution or the shark?
Quick question: if there’s enough electric current to kill a human, wouldn’t it also kill the shark?
Wait, are sharks immune to electricity? Have we studied this? I bet it’s because all the teeth keep them grounded.
“I’ll take electrocution every single time,” Trump proclaimed.
I’ll remind you that these are all comments made by the man elected to be the leader of the free world. The guy our children are supposed to look up to. The guy who is supposed to inspire us to greatness.
And these comments don’t even begin to touch on the seriously depraved, disgusting, racist, bigoted or cruel comments made by Trump since taking office last January. From his horrid comments about immigrants to cruelly referring to a female reporter as “piggy,” there is seemingly no bottom.
At the same time, nothing he promised—aside from terrorizing immigrants and American citizens who are mistaken for immigrants—has been accomplished. In fact, most things have gotten exponentially worse.
Just as the lady with the slightly odd laugh warned us.
